For the record I know Marie well but this is a very legitimate problem for her.

To provide more detail behind this question, Marie helped support him through medical school. Besides being an “idiot” as she puts it, he also cheated. They have wonderful children. He does make considerable effort to be in his children’s life. However, does not use common sense when he introduces his flavor of the week to his children (on more than 4 or 5 occasions). He often relies on Marie to handle things with the children that he is responsible for and often takes advantage of her kindness.  He is the type of person that needs to feed his ego by putting other people down, including the ones that care for him. Spiritually I since he has lost focus. Not a dark spirit but very confused in his priorities.

Marie-

My first suggestion is to always delete the negatives in your life. In your case this will not work because of the children. So you need to learn to limit his power over you. You are wonderful, caring and delightful women. You seem to seek his approval. When you finally accept he is not worthy of your concern, you will be able to grow. This man in your life enjoys still being able to control you and sadly uses his own children to do it. He knows how to push your buttons by demeaning you and making light of all the things you do for both of your children.  

Think about it. It makes no since for you to let him get to you at all. You know he is a “jerk”. You know the inadequacies he is trying to make up for.

Materialistically, I know it bothers you that you helped him get to the financial point he is in today and only he is receiving the fruits of that labor. His actions flaunt that fact in your face. Yet he is still lost and searching for something he will not soon find. His priorities are focused in the wrong places. That is material stuff. You are blessed with a wonderful family. You have what you need monetarily. You have the ability to do things that many do not. Your focus needs to be on you.  His life is only part of yours when it comes to the children. Also remember, kids are smart. They see how both of you prioritizes your life. At the end of the day who will have their respect?  That bond of trust is priceless.

Focus on your blessings and continue to grow beyond anything he could ever offer you.