Why do we fall into the same pattern?
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 at 10:44PM This is definitely is the million dollar question! I have, unfortunately, found myself in this exact situation more times than I care to admit.
Why do we want the ones that will treat us badly?
Why do we subject ourselves to this kind of drama and ultimately the pain that follows? For some reason it is a safe place for us.
Actually that is a hard yet easy question to answer. Intellectually we KNOW we deserve better and we KNOW that this person is not the one for us. But, yet for some unknown reason we still chase them.
We need to look at ourselves in the mirror and say "I deserve someone that will treat me the way that I need and want to be treated". And say it everyday as many times as we can stomache until we not only say it but actually believe it!
Once that happens the next step is to rid ourselves of anyone that doesn't fit into that role and find someone that does. And yes, I know that is the hardest thing to do but you owe it to yourself. You may try and fail a few times but just try and try again, you are worth the hard work that it will take to free yourself from this horrible pattern.
We all deserve happiness in this life and it is too short to accept mediocrity when we can have fabulous!
The biggest most important question that we should be asking ourselves is why do we feel that we don't deserve better?
Reader Comments (1)
Spot on Jen. While looking in the mirror you may also want to take ownership to the fact that if every relationship partner becomes a jerk, at some point you have to realize you are the common denominator in the many bad relationships. It may be you are attracted to people that are going to take advantage of you. It may be you have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is. Self evaluate. Ask good friends and do not get pissed when they respond with something you may not want to hear. Bad Romance is not normal or healthy. If you do not feel good about yourself and you are not comfortable it is not a healthy relationship.